The Wistfulness of Xander Snoweye

Times like these remind me of the most cliche things, like the phrase ‘times like these’.
It seems at times my life’s insignificantly small, yet at times it’s bigger than the universe could ever encompass. There’s forever and there’s now. And quite frankly, now is more important than forever, because now decides forever. The here and now is what makes the future, and every future after that. It isn’t set in stone, and there’s no real finite end to it, no matter which way you look at it.

But even then, everything can seem small, even to someone like me, an insignificant blip in an insignificant blip of time. The here and now is the only thing there is for most of us. The past is already decided, and the future isn’t. The only place we truly matter is the here and now. And most things we do are small. Yet, they can amount to everything in one go.

‘Everything’ is about as relative as you can get.

I mean, what is it, exactly? Everything you can see, everything you can comprehend, everything ever, or just the things you care about?
To me, everything I care about could be put in a plane with an approximate radius of about a furlong, and it could exist without any major conflict for my entire life. It seems arbitrary, perhaps, but given just a small space and of course a steady supply of food, I could be perfectly happy with nothing else but my own little world.

‘Everything’ is a lot, ‘Things that make me happy’ are few. Take away most of what makes me unhappy, and I’m left with just a few things. Of course, even then, there’ll be things I’ll be unhappy with from time to time, but this only means that I’d be happy otherwise. After all, without darkness, light is meaningless.
But I’m afraid, my furlong plane doesn’t exist, and here I am, in this reality, for now.