Top Secret Plan To Rule The World

My grand and elaborate scheme to rule the world will be detailed below. This is all top secret, mind you, so unless you are in fact who I am and not someone else, you are not allowed to read this. So please, be a kind little minion and don’t, okay? That’s very much appreciated.

Anyway, my plan. Yes. I want to rule the world, just like everyone else. Yes, I have a Top Secret Plan to achieve that goal. In fact, this is that very plan. Unlike most plans, it is not deviously simple. It is, in fact, deviously complex and highly misleading. Therefore, minding you are me and not someone else reading my Top Secret Plan, you must take care to understand the underlying complexities involved in my Top Secret Plan.

It all begins with the fact I already rule the world. This is rather convenient when it comes to taking over the world, as it means I don’t actually need to bother with the whole Revolution scheme. This all generally takes far too long to accomplish anyway. So, I rule the world. Well, pretty much. My parents do. I’m just the prince. Crown prince, but not the King. Yet. And I don’t actually want to be the king. In fact, I don’t even want to rule the world. This is why I made my Top Secret Plan. To rule the world by not actually ruling it at all, you see.

It’s all very simple. I’m the Prince, but I don’t want to be the King. So I’ve made up this plan in order to escape from ruling the world. But unless you’re me, you’re not supposed to know that. That’s why this is so very secret. Top Secret, even. This Top Secret Plan is about my alternative to rulership. The alternative of living my life in peace, without the need for starting wars or stopping them.

You see, I’m not going to take up the throne, or even the scepter, or anything silly like that. I’m going to flee, and I’m going to find a place to hide. Away from all these people who think ruling the world is the grandest thing ever. Ruling the world involves people disagreeing with you a lot. And killing you for it. At least, it usually does. There are a few exceptions, but even those weren’t too pleasant. Mostly because the people that didn’t get killed, killed others instead.

But really, what’s the point to all this murder? I mean, I see how dead people won’t try to take the throne, but wanting to sit on a throne is silly anyway. The throne isn’t even comfy. And the room is too big. And cold. It’s just all really very silly.

So, on with the plan. I’m going to run away from here, and I’m going to hide, so I can live my own life. Rather than live the life other people want me to live. Other people who like killing eachother. And get killed for trying. They’re all not very nice, though they usually pretend to be. They’re not very good at pretending though, so even that isn’t very nice. Which is why I’m escaping. I’m going to run and hide, rather than be King and rule the world.